I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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