I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
