Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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