i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
