i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
