I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I am mentally ready for anal.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
