She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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