in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
