# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
