I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
