She is in my trunk
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i believe in u and ur pee
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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