I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
