is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
