3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
