Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
In America we eat man semen.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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