I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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