He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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