I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
