maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
