you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
