butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
look no pants
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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