Pappa wants mamma naked
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
