I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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