Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
