I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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