Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
