i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
