I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
