Just fell off a train. Bad.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
