we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
