How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
