You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
