i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
