i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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