Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
