when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
