Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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