doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
