So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
