Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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