if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
