I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
