I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
