you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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