I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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