I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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