I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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