And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
