if you like me you must not know who I am
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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