obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
