I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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