I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
