Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
