i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
